Life-Death Survival

The Event — Grim Reaper

It's not the first time he tried to kill me.

He came for me.

It happened yesterday. Just another day. Like any other day of the week. But it happened to be a Friday. A night filled with young people going out on dates. A night with older people getting ready to do the weekend stuff that makes them happy. Maybe even with family. A weekend trip. A night with the guys or girls.

I was watching a TV show, on my PC. I was feeling fine. Then it happened. It happened suddenly. There was no warning. My wife is in the other room watching TV. Perhaps she had nodded off. She does that from time to time. Sometimes I catch her. Her pretty face, nodding just a little up and down as she catches herself. No longer young.

The sound of the TV show, plodding through my ears, had no awareness of what was happening. I remember one of our cats walking by, looking at me, eyes wide open. It saw something. My dog, gone just over a year, my mourning for him almost over. I miss him. I was sitting in my chair, looking back at this cat. A cat, not my dog. It bounded through the door, into the living room where my wife sat. My dog would have stayed to comfort me.

My stomach was bothering me all day. Something I ate. Likely I thought. Lately feeling hungry all the time. Never sated. I am on a diet, losing weight to stay healthy. I survived Covid, what a fight.

The chair was a computer chair, a good one at that, very comfortable. All black, with a mesh-type seat that I could lean back in. Sometimes I do. It is in a small room, a walk-in closet, I converted it to an office. But I was not working when it happened. The event as they call it. I do now too. I guess they call it an event instead of what it really was. I thought I was prepared for it.

He came for me, I did not see him. It was not the first time he came to visit me. He beckoned, and tried so hard, but failed yet again. My preparations prevailed. I felt heavy and very hungry. I was breathing OK. I was not gasping, his arms stretched out to me. My vision blurred but was not blurry. More like a triple vision that wavered left and right. Like electricity within my eyes, making the screen in front of me wiggle vigorously.

I felt slightly lightheaded as his hands brushed my cheeks. My body getting heavy, my mind feeling like it was shutting down. I called to my wife, once, twice, then three times. She came running. “Are you all right” I heard. And I knew I was not alone. And this, this despicable thing that attacked me, fighting me, was struck swiftly. I felt his hands pull from my body. It was shocking. Not really Pain. More like getting kicked loose from his grasp. 150 joules or raw energy. Threw this Grim Reaper away from me. My heart beating normally once more.

The Reaper looking back at me. Sad it had failed once again I am sure. One day I know he will win. But this day I did. My wife staring at me with tears in her eyes. Fear across her face. She saw the fight, saw the shock, saw me jump, in what she thought was pain. And I smiled at her. I am OK. I love you. I am OK. And I felt her kiss on my head. And relief was in her voice.

Then I feel awakened, My eyes focus and all is clear. The cat looks at me from my wife’s legs, It walks away. He is calm. The Grim Reaper is gone till next time. And then what do you do. What can you do? This feeling of always looking over your shoulder. Never knowing when It, the Grim Reaper, will strike. How do you live like this? They call it Sudden Death — V-Fib or V Fibrillation. When the heart, both sides, left and right. Races so fast at the same time. They cancel each other out.

Then you are dead. You drop where ever you are. I can tell you when it happens it is so fast there is no time to be afraid. It felt like 30 seconds from start to end. Maybe less. I am lucky. I have a special device for just V-Fib. It is not a defibrillator like most people hear about. It's more like a heart re-setter. It detects my heart when it goes into V-Fib and delivers a shock.

After the event, I went to the Hospital. My blood tests showed I did NOT have a Heart Attack. My device is still so new that they could not even interrogate it to show what happened to my heart. I have to wait till Monday to call my doctor.

The Device is called a Subcutaneous ICD and does NOT go inside your heart. It sits under my skin in the fat between, over the muscle on top of my ribs. It has a single large wire that attaches from the box to above the sternum.

The device is made by Boston Scientific. My thanks to them and it is creators. I would be dead right now unable to write this post. It works. This is the first time it has gone off since I got it 2 years ago. I died in April of 2019. Brought back after 40 seconds of death. And shortly later given this device to counter V-Fib. But that’s a different story.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. What will I do, I do not know. What I was going to do today, and what I do today are now two separate things. I sit in contemplation. V-Fib — Sudden Death- Again I beat this malady. Should I rest, and covert life — Or should I embrace life — For without risk is life even worth living? May the grim reaper be dammed! I will not stay home today. It is time again to play on another day of life. After I write this post and submit it.

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Jay Javurek

Jay Javurek

Military Ops/Intell Assitant — Instructor — Leader — Gamer — Electronic Engineer — Science Explorer — People Person — Doberman Lover — An “Old Guy” who reads.